INSTANT COUPLE THERAPY - COMPLIMENT YOUR PARTNER!
In the beginning it was easy right. To say how great she or he looked. To say how much you appreciate them. To fall into each others arms. You accepted everything about each other. You listened for hours and hours and never got tired of their voice. You couldn't wait to share your deepest desires or your favorite song or your daily experiences. Love was effortless......WHAT HAPPENED?
Now it is a chore to listen to anything they have to say. It is work to go places together and it is not so easy to be open and vulnerable. You don't accept them and they don't accept you. Lots of things not spoken and lots of feelings not shared.
It seems like every couple I coach comes into my office this way. It started out blissful and now it is a chore to make each other feel safe and secure.
Here is what EVERY couple has to do to get back to bliss.
1. Say whats so. Get real with each other even if it hurts. Be honest and accountable for your part of the breakdowns with the relationship.
2. Realize that your partner owes you nothing. They are free to go and they can leave you at any time. They are only there because they choose to be and not because you have any control over them staying.
3. Let go of all your judgments of each other. Let go of all your expectations of each other.
4. Apologize for any hurt you caused them.
5. Thank your partner; acknowledge your partner; compliment your partner for the value they have been in your life.
6. Decide what you want from this moment on with your partner and share it. Create a future you are living into with your partner.
Hard stuff to do but once couples start truly communicating and complimenting each other again it is amazing how much love comes back to them. The only people who cannot do these 6 steps are those who are dishonest and who refuse to be vulnerable and let go of their anger and judgment and that is because they want to punish their partner and they like to control their partner this way. Usually people like this have some major secrets and they have to continue to blame their partner because they are hiding something and getting vulnerable and real will expose what they are up to and they will have to deal with being found out.
To contact Kimile Pendleton visit
www.HealTheFamilyNow.com
