Keep the sizzle #1: Give your partner three genuine expressions of appreciation a day. It can be appreciation for things they always do for you or for something special, but make sure you say it out loud-and you mean it. Women have a harder time with this than men do. When women struggle to acknowledge their man I have them read Dr. Laura's book the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.
Keep the sizzle #2: Make an appointment two times a week to spend 15 minutes-with no technology other than music-kissing and cuddling and talking, with sex completely off the table. Listen to each other and be patient while the other is sharing. Parrot back what your partner is going thru and truly get their experience.
Keep the sizzle #3: Make a commitment to having sex at least once a week. Twice a week is better. Don't go more than two weeks without it, because it's is the fuel in your long-term relationship. When sex is working with a couple, it's a small part of a larger relationship. This is really about letting go of the fear and opening yourself to your partner-and expressing the passion inside you.
It's scientifically proven that men who do housework get more sex. When he's helping around the house, it's a sign that he gets it, that he sees how hard you're working, that he knows the nest is important, and that makes you feel connected to him. On the other hand, men achieve a sense of emotional closeness through the physical act of sex. There's a yin and a yang to life and in relationships, and it's about learning what nourishes your partner. Everyone's different, which means we have to stop trying to love our partner the way we want to be loved and instead learn the way they want to be loved and share the way we want to be loved.
There are really only two things men want in a relationship: a partner who's going to be engaged with them sexually, and to be doing a good job in the relationship. When we get stuck in the hamster wheel of our lives, we focus more on what he's doing wrong than what he's doing right. Go on a surrender date, where you let him make every decision-what you're going to wear, where you go, how you get there, what you're going to order. What you'll find is that he's much more capable of stepping up than you've given him credit for.
Remember, you can have all the power you want, but you don't have to have all the control. The creative spirit is about not only exercising that fantasy muscle but also making room for it in your life.
To contact Kimile, please visit her website:
http://www.healthefamilynow.com or call (801) 263-2200 or (801) 809-2222.
